Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
