i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
