i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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