she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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