drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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