the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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