i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
