im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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