addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
last night I used snow as a chaser
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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