I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize