Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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