Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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