In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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