Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I enjoy the company of your penis
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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