Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
