i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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