I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
smell my finger.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize