ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am available for nakedness
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
