Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize