i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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