Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am one with the molecules
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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