hotel room ftw
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
