Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize