...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
