my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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