Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
