my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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