He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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