so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
