please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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