no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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