thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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