can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
