Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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