Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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