Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said her name was "party"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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