i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize