You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
