Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
