I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
