Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize