my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?