Dual....:-)
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
