i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
