Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
