Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
