Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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