I look better un-naked...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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