I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize