i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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