Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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