I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
