when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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