i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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