Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
