I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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