Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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