insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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