Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
