I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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