I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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