i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
