i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
